I was perusing some blogs today when I came upon one particular one. It was all about getting out and doing a race for no reason other than to just get out there; no agenda, no expectations, just go have some fun. And like the proverbial ton of bricks it hit me, no wonder why I've been so depressed about my lack of running, it 's not just that I haven't been running, I haven't raced since October 30th of last year.
One of the first things I tell new runners is to go out and pick a race that they want to run. The reason is that this gives them a goal, something they can remember when they are sweating their asses off at 4:30 in the morning. It's the reward for all of the time and effort that you have put in to getting there. Basically, it's the fun part. Now I know some people are saying, "Racing, fun? What the..?" But it really is. You get to throw caution to the wind and just run run run as fast as you can while chasing down and fending off opponents. And some times they have prizes too!
So yes, I like to race. It is the only part of my life that I get competitive about and I can be super-serious when it comes to race time. At the end of the day though, whether it is a marathon I've trained months for, a fun local 5K, a run up a mountain, or an Ultra relay across New England, the one thing I have always tried to find in every race is the fun. Racing has always made me happy because of the challenge it brings; what else in our lives gives us the opportunity to see how far we can push our limits?
With that part of my life gone for so long now it is no wonder that I've been feeling so low. There are studies out there that have shown that running can be a form of addiction which could explain my attitude the last few months. Race time was always something that I could look forward to and get excited about but this morning I suddenly realized that not only have I lost anything to look forward to I've actually come to be depressed about the races I do have on the calendar. My last post is a shining example of this!
It's time for an attitude change. I am signed up for the Providence 5K in September and up until now my attitude towards it has been, meh. It shouldn't be like that, I need to remember the fun and excitement. Now I know I'm not going to PR it, at this rate I just hope to be able to run the whole thing, but I can use that knowledge. Since a PR is out of the question, and in fact I can't even run fast, there is no pressure at all for this race. Maybe I can do something that I haven't actually done in years; take some time during a race to enjoy the course, the other runners, the spectators. In short, to go out and have some fun.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
I'm giving up
This is not the post I wanted to be writing. Even though I've put it off for a while now, it's time to face facts.
About a month ago I was feeling pretty good, good enough that I decided to start running again and see how things went. So I started running, slow, short runs to test the water; think one mile runs. It definitely proved that I wasn't yet 100% but it was encouraging. Then came that run one Monday; it was about 2.5 miles and the pace was faster but not crazy. I could tell during that the Achilles wasn't good, and it wasn't, and it continued to not be for days afterwards. Not painful per se, but worse than it had been. All of which just proved to me that I still wasn't ready to run. And I have no idea when I will be.
So what, right? I've gone this long, what's another month or two? What changed is that I happened to look at my calendar the other day. This is what I saw:
I put those entries into my calendar within days of running my qualify time back in October. With ten separate alerts tied to the appointments to remind me to register I would say that I was a bit excited. Now, reality is crashing down on me.
At this point I am all but out of time to start any sort of training regime. I kept telling myself as one month of not running turned to three which turned to nine which now has no end in site that there was time. Always more time. Maybe I wouldn't be shooting for a 2:55 but I'd be ready to run a nice solid marathon. Now I need to realize that those dreams are rapidly fading away. If I was 100% ready to run right now I could still be ready, but I'm far from that point.
So I'm left with only a couple of options. Register as planned, hope for the best, and maybe put in a weak showing during the marathon. All the while hoping that I've healed enough to not make things worse during training and the race. Or, scrap all plans on running Boston. This second option really pisses me off though. Not running means that all that work and training was ultimately for nothing. Yes I will always be thrilled with my last marathon time and I'm happy I ran it, but the intent was to qualify for Boston. Not being able to run is, in my mind, a failure. Whenever I think about the situation all I can hear in my mind is this clip from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory:
Except, unlike Charlie, I did nothing wrong. In fact, I did everything right and yet I still lose. So when I said that it was time to face facts at the beginning of this post what I meant was that it is a growing fact that no good will come of this situation. The silver lining I tried so desperately to cling to is slipping away and I can see that at best I may be at the starting line this April. Or not. Either way it's a shitty situation I find myself in right now and I'm really tired of it.
About a month ago I was feeling pretty good, good enough that I decided to start running again and see how things went. So I started running, slow, short runs to test the water; think one mile runs. It definitely proved that I wasn't yet 100% but it was encouraging. Then came that run one Monday; it was about 2.5 miles and the pace was faster but not crazy. I could tell during that the Achilles wasn't good, and it wasn't, and it continued to not be for days afterwards. Not painful per se, but worse than it had been. All of which just proved to me that I still wasn't ready to run. And I have no idea when I will be.
So what, right? I've gone this long, what's another month or two? What changed is that I happened to look at my calendar the other day. This is what I saw:
I put those entries into my calendar within days of running my qualify time back in October. With ten separate alerts tied to the appointments to remind me to register I would say that I was a bit excited. Now, reality is crashing down on me.
At this point I am all but out of time to start any sort of training regime. I kept telling myself as one month of not running turned to three which turned to nine which now has no end in site that there was time. Always more time. Maybe I wouldn't be shooting for a 2:55 but I'd be ready to run a nice solid marathon. Now I need to realize that those dreams are rapidly fading away. If I was 100% ready to run right now I could still be ready, but I'm far from that point.
So I'm left with only a couple of options. Register as planned, hope for the best, and maybe put in a weak showing during the marathon. All the while hoping that I've healed enough to not make things worse during training and the race. Or, scrap all plans on running Boston. This second option really pisses me off though. Not running means that all that work and training was ultimately for nothing. Yes I will always be thrilled with my last marathon time and I'm happy I ran it, but the intent was to qualify for Boston. Not being able to run is, in my mind, a failure. Whenever I think about the situation all I can hear in my mind is this clip from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory:
Except, unlike Charlie, I did nothing wrong. In fact, I did everything right and yet I still lose. So when I said that it was time to face facts at the beginning of this post what I meant was that it is a growing fact that no good will come of this situation. The silver lining I tried so desperately to cling to is slipping away and I can see that at best I may be at the starting line this April. Or not. Either way it's a shitty situation I find myself in right now and I'm really tired of it.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Adventures in Acupuncture
For the past couple of months I have been seeing an acupuncturist to try and speed along the healing with my Achilles. It's been pretty nice I guess. Basically he sticks me with a bunch of needles and then I fall asleep on the table for 40 minutes. Not a bad break from the day I will admit.
It has actually been more than that. He has been working my ankle and leg joints, giving me advice on stretches, and throws in the occasional cracking of the back for good measure. So does this mean that it has helped? I have no idea. Some days my heel feels great, others it can be annoying. At the end of the day though, he is actually trying to help. Not just by telling me to wait and let it heal, but by trying to get to the root of the problem and fixing it. I feel like I have spent the last nine months just waiting around for it to get better on its own so it is a nice change to feel like I am actively participating in my recovery.
I am still hyper-sensitive to every single little twinge and pain that emanates from my heel but there is no doubt that it is getting better. So much so that I have started to think about, wait for it...going for a run. Whoa! I know, a crazy thought but I think I may be at the point where I need to test it out and see how everything reacts. We shall see, soon.
It has actually been more than that. He has been working my ankle and leg joints, giving me advice on stretches, and throws in the occasional cracking of the back for good measure. So does this mean that it has helped? I have no idea. Some days my heel feels great, others it can be annoying. At the end of the day though, he is actually trying to help. Not just by telling me to wait and let it heal, but by trying to get to the root of the problem and fixing it. I feel like I have spent the last nine months just waiting around for it to get better on its own so it is a nice change to feel like I am actively participating in my recovery.
I am still hyper-sensitive to every single little twinge and pain that emanates from my heel but there is no doubt that it is getting better. So much so that I have started to think about, wait for it...going for a run. Whoa! I know, a crazy thought but I think I may be at the point where I need to test it out and see how everything reacts. We shall see, soon.
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I only wish I looked this good with needles all over me |
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Good News Everyone
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Podiatrist not drawn to scale (or ethnicity, or gender) |
The bad news is that I will probably be susceptible to this kind of injury from now on but there's not much I can do about that. I'll just have to keep stretching and be mindful.
Soon, I hope to be running. Soon.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
A Great Loss
Today we woke to news of a great loss in the entertainment world. A man universally recognized as one of the greats of our time. He rose to fame and critical claim during the 60's and 70's even though there were those that believed he would have a difficult time being a foreigner. The internet recently brought his work to a new generation and spread his charm to the four corners of the global. Sadly, he succumbed after a long fight for health and died today. I am speaking, of course, of the great Eduard Khil, aka "Mr. Trololo". He will be missed by all.
Himself
Truly enchanting
Apparently Richard Dawson died too! But what has he ever accomplished, really?
Actor (28 titles)
1987
The Running Man
Damon Killian
1979-1980 The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV series)
Guest Host
Damon Killian
1979-1980 The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV series)
Guest Host
–
Episode dated 7 January 1980
(1980)
…
Guest Host
–
Episode dated 7 December 1979
(1979)
…
Guest Host
1978
The Love Boat
(TV series)
Bert Buchanan
Bert Buchanan
–
A Time for Everything/The Song Is Ended/Accidental Cruise/Anoushka
(1978)
…
Bert Buchanan
1972
The ABC Saturday Superstar Movie
(TV series)
Furniture Man / Sam Sniperley
Furniture Man / Sam Sniperley
–
Oliver and the Artful Dodger: Part 2
(1972)
…
Sam Sniperley/Furniture Man
(voice)
–
Oliver and the Artful Dodger: Part 1
(1972)
…
Sam Sniperley/Furniture Man
(voice)
1971-1972
Love, American Style
(TV series)
Danny (segment "Love and the Hiccups") / Melvin Danger (segment "Love and the Private Eye") / Rick Jagmund (segment "Love and the Groupie")
Danny (segment "Love and the Hiccups") / Melvin Danger (segment "Love and the Private Eye") / Rick Jagmund (segment "Love and the Groupie")
–
Love and the Anxious Mama/Love and the Boomerang/Love and the Private Eye
(1972)
…
Melvin Danger (segment "Love and the Private Eye")
(voice)
–
Love and the Bowling Ball/Love and the Check/Love and the Hiccups/Love and the Liberated Lady Boss
(1971)
…
Danny (segment "Love and the Hiccups")
–
Love and the Fuzz/Love and the Groupie/Love and the Housekeeper/Love and Women's Lib
(1971)
…
Rick Jagmund (segment "Love and the Groupie")
1965-1971
Hogan's Heroes
(TV series)
Cpl. Peter Newkirk
Cpl. Peter Newkirk
During the run of Hogan's Heroes, Dawson introduced sitcom costar Bob Crane (a long-time photography enthusiast) to John Henry Carpenter, who worked with the video department at Sony Electronics
and had access to early video tape recorders. In later years,
Carpenter, who photographed some of Crane's sexual escapades with
various women, would be implicated in but acquitted of Crane's murder.
1964
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour
(TV series)
Robert Johnson
Robert Johnson
–
Anyone for Murder?
(1964)
…
Robert Johnson
(as Dick Dawson)
1964
The Outer Limits
(TV series)
Oliver Fair
Oliver Fair
–
The Invisibles
(1964)
…
Oliver Fair
(as Dick Dawson)
1963
The Dick Van Dyke Show
(TV series)
Tracy Rattigan
Tracy Rattigan
–
Racy Tracy Rattigan
(1963)
…
Tracy Rattigan
(as Dick Dawson)
1963
The Jack Benny Program
(TV series)
Audience Member sitting next to Jack
Audience Member sitting next to Jack
–
Jack Meets Max Bygraves
(1963)
…
Audience Member sitting next to Jack
Himself
1994
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
(TV series)
Himself
Himself
–
Episode dated 8 September 1994
(1994)
…
Himself
1976-1985
Family Feud
(TV series)
Himself - Host
Himself - Host
1975
Showoffs
(TV series)
Himself
Himself
–
Episode dated 8 September 1975
(1975)
…
Himself
–
Episode dated 28 July 1975
(1975)
…
Himself
1974
The Dean Martin Comedy Hour
(TV series)
Himself
Himself
–
Celebrity Roast: Dan Rowan and Dick Martin
(1974)
…
Himself
1969-1973
The Merv Griffin Show
(TV series)
Himself
Himself
–
Episode dated 12 September 1973
(1973)
…
Himself
–
Episode dated 1 September 1972
(1972)
…
Himself
–
Episode dated 6 November 1969
(1969)
…
Himself
1972
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
(TV series)
Himself
Himself
–
Episode dated 1 September 1972
(1972)
…
Himself
1968
Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
(TV series)
Himself - Guest Performer
Himself - Guest Performer
–
Episode #1.5
(1968)
…
Himself - Guest Performer
1968
How's Your Mother-in-Law?
(TV series)
Himself
Himself
–
Episode dated 12 February 1968
(1968)
…
Himself
1965
The Hollywood Palace
(TV series)
Himself - Sketch Actor
1959
The Steve Allen Plymouth Show
(TV series)
Himself - Sketch Actor
–
Episode #3.13
(1965)
…
Himself - Sketch Actor
Himself
–
Episode #4.29
(1959)
…
Himself
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Week six?
We're already half done! The P90X train keeps rolling and I will admit that I am seeing improvements in my arms. Getting those nice short-sleeve muscles ready for the summer! I can always tell that my strength is improving when I get to a point that my girlish forearms start to become a limiting factor. They are just too week and tiny to support any significant increase in weight. Sigh.
It's been a crappy week mentally though. Although I am enjoying not feeling like a total sloth anymore my achilles started to bother me again this week and so I was reminded anew that I was still not running. It's May and I am still not running. Seven months later. I've done everything right and yet I am still not running.
We are heading to a wedding at the end of July in San Francisco and I was really looking forward to being able to run through the city. There is no better way to see a new city than to run through it; that way you get the whole experience. And I was psyched to tackle some killer hills. There are two types of runners, those that love hills and those that will go out of their way to avoid them.
But now, who the hell knows. I am continuing in running limbo. I've been getting mad about it, not just frustrated or annoyed, straight up angry. I'm tired of being told to just wait, to have patience. Screw your waiting, I want to run!
334 days until the 117th Boston Marathon
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I feel your pain |
We are heading to a wedding at the end of July in San Francisco and I was really looking forward to being able to run through the city. There is no better way to see a new city than to run through it; that way you get the whole experience. And I was psyched to tackle some killer hills. There are two types of runners, those that love hills and those that will go out of their way to avoid them.
Adidas gets it |
334 days until the 117th Boston Marathon
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