Seriously, make up your mind

Once there was a time I ran without injury.  I really can't remember that time but I'm sure there had to have been some point in the past.

So I don't think I ever formally announced it (not that I have to) but any dreams of trying to qualify for Boston at BayState have long since been abandoned.  The litany of injuries over the past two months has just been ridiculous.  First some bad shinsplints which then segued nicely into a pulled calf during the Marshfield 20K and has since morphed into a persistently annoying knee pain.  I just hope to finish BayState without killing myself at this point.

Which leads to today's run.  A very simple and easy four miler down by the Charles.  Except for the crazy wind it was by all respects moderately paced and relaxing.  But I quickly noticed that something was missing; no knee pain.  I figured it would come later.  Mile 2, none.  Mile 3 no pain.  Up the long hill back to the office and nothing.  Not the slightest twinge, creak, or ping from a knee that was absolutely killing me on Tuesday.

And therein lies the frustration.  Why now?  Is it gone for good or just today?  Why can't I just settle into some sort of routine without wondering what calamity is waiting to derail me tomorrow.  The second half of the summer and now sliding into fall has been a great frustration as I have watched my times slide and ability suffer.  My latest 5k times are a good thirty seconds off where they should be.  I haven't done any speedwork for fear of breaking something.  The longest I have gone in about two months is 18.5 miles and that was originally supposed to be 20.

At this point I don't know what to do.  Looking forward I am still undecided as to a plan of action.  Do I keep training for marathons but keep the pace slow?  Or do I scale back to Halfs as the longest I go and focus more on speed?  Bot have their draws but I have no idea which is better for me at this point.  All I know is that next week is the first race that I have planned that I have no excitement about running. I'm pretty confident that BayState is going to wreck me but I'm going to do it anyways.  I'm basically just doing it because I already signed up for it.  That's a bad sign.  This cycle of training-injury-recovery-training has got to stop because it's really fucking with my head.